I wanted to talk about the term “Modal operators” and I know it might sound weird because this actually refers to your mode of operating.
The modal operators of thinking are words like must, should, can’t, have to, mustn’t, can, will, and indicate possibility or necessity. There is a big difference between doing something because you feel you have to and because you want to. So let's explore this a little further.
We often feel we have to do particular things and have no choice.
Words such as should, must, have to, and need are common in our language. These simple words can create stressful states that are self-imposed and can be disenabling.
We seldom really question whether we have to do certain activities or feel a certain way. We don’t examine the real consequences of not doing things. This is probably more obvious when you hear other people use these words in a context you wouldn’t. I notice this a lot more now in my client's conversations.
Examples of these are:
“I have to tidy the house”
“I should be home for my kids”
“I need to get this finished by the weekend”
How about using the below questions to have a think about what would happen if you didn't do the above examples. This is a kind way of saying that there is never anything we really must do except breath.
Recovery questions help you to unpack these examples.
What would happen if you didn’t?
What would happen if you did?
What is the worst thing that could happen?
What would be the consequences?
Good luck practicing this.
